两个人＋一个家

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   HARD BY a great forest dwelt a poor wood-cutter with his wife and his two children. The boy was called Hansel and the girl Gretel. He had little to bite and to break, and once when great dearth fell on the land, he could no longer procure even daily bread. Now when he thought over this by night in his bed, and tossed about in his anxiety, he groaned and said to his wife: "What is to become of us? How are we to feed our poor children, when we no longer have anything even for ourselves?" "I'11 tell you what, husband," answered the woman, "early to-morrow morning we will take the children out into the forest to where it is the thickest; there we will light a fire for them, and give each of them one more piece of bread, and then we will go to our work and leave them alone. They will not find the way home again, and we shall be rid of them." "No, wife," said the man, "I will not do that; how can I bear to leave my children alone in the forest--the wild animals would soon come and tear them to pieces." "0, you fool!" said she, "then we must all four die of hunger, you may as well plane the planks for our coffins," and she left him no peace until he consented. "But I feel very sorry for the poor children, all the same," said the man.

   这是前两页的内容，因为在文字版中，这两页的文字部分内容比较紧密，所以就合并在一起说说看。

    加粗体的文字是文字版和绘本版不太一样的地方。第一个地方“when great dearth fell on the land, he could no longer procure even daily bread”，这是绘本版完全删掉的内容，在原来的故事里，有一个大背景。也就是某一年收成不好的时候，这个伐木工赚不到钱了，才连每天吃的面包也没办法买。但是绘本里只有结果的交代，就是说，他没办法维持一家四口的生计了。

     去掉这个背景，一个可能是为了精简文字，另一个可能则是让这个故事更为普遍——没有饥荒的年份里，这样的事情也不是不可能的。

     也许同样是出于精简文字的考虑，当提到把兄妹二人扔到森林里的时候，文字版用了一个描写——“where it is the thickest”，把他们扔到森林的最深处，绘本版则删掉了这个描写。

03－04

    The two children had also not been able to sleep for hunger, and had heard what their step-mother had said to their father. Gretel wept bitter tears, and said to Hansel: "Now all is over with us." "Be quiet, Gretel," said Hansel, "do not distress yourself, I will soon find a way to help us." And when the old folks had fallen asleep, he got up, put on his little coat, opened the door below, and crept outside. The moon shone brightly, and the white pebbles which lay in front of the house glittered like real silver pennies. Hansel stooped and stuffed the little pocket of his coat with as many as he could get in. Then he went back and said to Gretel: "Be comforted, dear little sister, and sleep in peace, God will not forsake us," and he lay down again in his bed.

03－04

    这部分里，有一个非常重要的细节，是绘本版里删掉的。先说两个小的改动：

1.文字版的妹妹不但哭泣起来，而且说了一句非常悲观的话“这下我们全完蛋了。”绘本没有那句话。

2.第二个地方就是细节描写部分，绘本版去掉了。

    最大的改动出在孩子们母亲的身份上，文字版里，母亲早已死去，现任的是继母，而绘本版里，母亲就是亲生母亲，完全没有提及后母这回事。

    如果联系最开始的去掉大背景的细节，可以推测出，绘本版的文字作者，应该是在努力营造一个更理性，或者说的极端一点，更“冷酷”的效果。想想看，不知什么灾祸一家人就可能断粮，根本不用等到饥荒年代；不用继母，亲生母亲也会轼子。

05

    When day dawned, but before the sun had risen, the woman came and awoke the two children, saying: "Get up, you sluggards! We are going into the forest to fetch wood." She gave each a little piece of bread, and said: "There is something for your dinner, but do not eat it up before then, for you will get nothing else." Gretel took the bread under her apron, as Hansel had the pebbles in his pocket. Then they all set out together on the way to the forest. When they had walked a short time, Hansel stood still and peeped back at the house, and did so again and again. His father said: "Hansel, what are you looking at there and staying behind for? Pay attention, and do not forget how to use your legs." "Ah, father," said Hansel, "I am looking at my little white cat, which is sitting up on the roof, and wants to say good-bye to me." The wife said: "Fool, that is not your little cat, that is the morning sun which is shining on the chimneys." Hansel, however, had not been looking back at the cat, but had been constantly throwing one of the white pebble-stones out of his pocket on the road.

05

除了把猫这个英文单词说的更口语化以外，基本没有大的改动。

06-07

When they had reached the middle of the forest, the father said: "Now, children, pile up some wood, and I will light a fire that you may not be cold." Hansel and Gretel gathered brushwood together, as high as a little hill. The brushwood was lighted, and when the flames were burning very high, the woman said: "Now, children, lay yourselves down by the fire and rest, we will go into the forest and cut some wood. When we have done, we will come back and fetch you away."

Hansel and Gretel sat by the fire, and when noon came, each ate a little piece of bread, and as they heard the strokes of the wood-axe they believed that their father was near. It was not the axe, however, but a branch which he had fastened to a withered tree which the wind was blowing backwards and forwards. And as they had been sitting such a long time, their eyes closed with fatigue, and they fell fast asleep. When at last they awoke, it was already dark night. Gretel began to cry and said: "How are we to get out of the forest now?" But Hansel comforted her and said: "Just wait a little, until the moon has risen, and then we will soon find the way."

06-07

这段里面，没有太大改动，只是去掉了一些细节，精简文字而已。

1.去掉父亲让孩子们收集木柴的细节。

2.

去掉他们困倦的睡着的细节。

08

And when the full moon had risen, Hansel took his little sister by the hand, and followed the pebbles which shone like newly-coined silver pieces, and showed them the way.

They walked the whole night long, and by break of day came once more to their father's house. They knocked at the door, and when the woman opened it and saw that it was Hansel and Gretel, she said: "You naughty children, why have you slept so long in the forest--we thought you were never coming back at all!" The father, however, rejoiced, for it had cut him to the heart to leave them behind alone.

这段中，改动最大的是母亲说的话，绘本版中删去了，直接代以“母亲非常生气”的叙述。

为什么要去掉母亲的原话呢？

有两种可能性，一种是精简文字，但是更有可能的是，这是给孩子们看的绘本故事，出于某种慎重的考虑，所以，作者就直接用了“生气”取代了妈妈的那番虚伪的关心。也许是因为作者不希望教给孩子们虚伪的言辞；也许是因为孩子们还不能够很明确的分清虚伪和真诚的区别，他们只能听懂表面的意思，这样说会造成孩子们的疑惑。

在幼儿园讲故事的时候，我也发现了这个问题，大部分孩子的思维还是比较简单一点的，太绕弯的就需要花多点时间来讲解。
09

Not long afterwards, there was once more great dearth throughout the land, and the children heard their mother saying at night to their father: "Everything is eaten again, we have one half loaf left, and that is the end. The children must go, we will take them farther into the wood, so that they will not find their way out again; there is no other means of saving ourselves!" The man's heart was heavy, and he thought: "It would be better for you to share the last mouthful with your children." The woman, however, would listen to nothing that he had to say, but scolded and reproached him. He who says A must say B, likewise, and as he had yielded the first time, he had to do so a second time also.

The children, however, were still awake and had heard the conversation. When the old folks were asleep, Hansel again got up, and wanted to go out and pick up pebbles as he had done before, but the woman had locked the door, and Hansel could not get out. Nevertheless he comforted his little sister, and said: "Do not cry, Gretel, go to sleep quietly, the good God will help us."

三处改动：

1.

依然如同第一页的文字，去掉了饥荒的大背景，只说又没有食物了。

2.

这段改动是我原本没有注意到的，这次发现，原来原文中的“old folks”在绘本版里也没有了。去掉父母年老体弱的描写，代之普通父母，几乎可以肯定，作者是在营造更“冷酷”气氛。

3.

去掉最后哥哥说“别哭，安静的睡觉去吧，上帝会保佑我们的。”取代的是“哥哥也很悲伤，无法去安慰他的小妹没别伤心。”去掉了心理上的安慰，营造出一种强烈的无力感。面对命运，谁都是小石子。

10-11-12

Early in the morning came the woman, and took the children out of their beds. Their piece of bread was given to them, but it was still smaller than the time before. On the way into the forest Hansel crumbled his in his pocket, and often stood still and threw a morsel on the ground. "Hansel, why do you stop and look round " said the father, "go on." "I am looking back at my little pigeon which is sitting on the roof, and wants to say good-bye to me," answered Hansel. "Fool!" said the woman, "that is not Your little pigeon, that is the morning sun that is shining on the chimney." Hansel, however, little by little, threw all the crumbs on the path.

The woman led the children still deeper into the forest, where they had never in their lives been before. Then a great fire was again made, and the mother said: "Just sit there, you children, and when you are tired you may sleep a little; we are going into the forest to cut wood, and in the evening when we are done, we will come and fetch you away." When it was noon, Gretel shared her piece of bread with Hansel, who had scattered his by the way. Then they fell asleep and evening passed, but no one came to the poor children. They did not awake until it was dark night, and Hansel comforted his little sister and said: "Just wait, Gretel, until the moon rises, and then we shall see the crumbs of bread which I have strewn about, they will show us our way home again." When the moon came they set out, but they found no crumbs, for the many thousands of birds which fly about in the woods and fields had picked them all up.

Hansel said to Gretel: "We shall soon find the way," but they did not find it. They walked the whole night and all the next day too from morning till evening, but they did not get out of the forest, and were very hungry, for they had nothing to eat but two or three berries, which grew on the ground. And as they were so weary that their legs would carry them no longer, they lay down beneath a tree and fell asleep.

　这三页基本只是在说两个孩子在森林里又累又渴，迷了路。没有大的变化，只是精简了文字。

13－14

It was now three mornings since they had left their father's house. They began to walk again, but they always came deeper into the forest, and if help did not come soon, they must die of hunger and weariness. When it was mid-day, they saw a beautiful snow-white bird sitting on a bough, which sang so delightfully that they stood still and listened to it. And when its song was over, it spread its wings and flew away before them, and they followed it until they reached a little house, on the roof of which it alighted; and when they approached the little house they saw that it was built of bread and covered with cakes, but that the windows were of clear sugar. "We will set to work on that," said Hansel, "and have a good meal. I will eat a bit of the roof, and you Gretel, can eat some of the window, it will taste sweet." Hansel reached up above, and broke off a little of the roof to try how it tasted, and Gretel leant against the window and nibbled at the panes. Then a soft voice cried from the parlor:

The children answered:

　

"The wind, the wind,
The heaven-born wind,"

and went on eating without disturbing themselves. Hansel, who liked the taste of the roof, tore down a great piece of it, and Gretel pushed out the whole of one round window-pane, sat down, and enjoyed herself with it.

两处较大的删改。

1.

删掉了枝枝蔓蔓，原本是小鸟引领他们来到了糖果屋，绘本版里没有这个细节。

2.

删掉了孩子们听到屋内询问以后的谎言，孩子们回答说“是风在吹，没有人在吃房子。”

文字版中的这个情节有点不合逻辑，如果小哥哥能聪明到留下鹅卵石和面包作记号，就不会蠢的回答一个没有人会相信的答案，所以，绘本版里，非常巧妙的把这个地方改成了“孩子们非常害怕，怕得连手里握着的东西都掉了下来。”

15－16

Suddenly the door opened, and a woman as old as the hills, who supported herself on crutches, came creeping out. Hansel and Gretel were so terribly frightened that they let  fall what they had in their hands. The old woman, however, nodded her head, and said: "Oh, you dear children, who has brought you here Do come in, and stay with me. No harm shall happen to you." She took them both by the hand, and led them into her little house. Then good food was set before them, milk and pancakes, with sugar, apples, and nuts. Afterwards two pretty little beds were covered with clean white linen, and Hansel and Gretel lay down in them, and thought they were in heaven.

The old woman had only pretended to be so kind; she was in reality a wicked witch, who lay in wait for children, and had only built the little house of bread in order to entice them there. When a child fell into her power, she killed it, cooked and ate it, and that was a feast day with her. Witches have red eyes, and cannot see far, but they have a keen scent like the beasts, and are aware when human beings draw near. When Hansel and Gretel came into her neighborhood, she laughed with malice, and said mockingly: "I have them, they shall not escape me again!"

　精简了文字。

17－18

Early in the morning before the children were awake, she was already up, and when she saw both of them sleeping and looking so pretty, with their plump and rosy cheeks, she muttered to herself: "That will be a dainty mouthfull" Then she seized Hansel with her shriveled hand, carried him into a little stable, and locked him in behind a grated door. Scream as he might, it would not help him. Then she went to Gretel, shook her till she awoke, and cried: "Get up, lazy thing, fetch some water, and cook something good for your brother, he is in the stable outside, and is to be made fat. When he is fat, I will eat him." Gretel began to weep bitterly, but it was all in vain, for she was forced to do what the wicked witch commanded.

And now the best food was cooked for poor Hansel, but Gretel got nothing but crab-shells. Every morning the woman crept to the little stable, and cried: "Hansel, stretch out your finger that I may feel if you will soon be fat." Hansel, however, stretched out a little bone to her, and the old woman, who had dim eyes, could not see it, and thought it was Hansel's finger, and was astonished that there was no way of fattening him. When four weeks had gone by, and Hansel still remained thin, she was seized with impatience and would not wait any longer. "Now, then, Gretel," she cried to the girl, "stir yourself, and bring some water. Let Hansel be fat or lean, to-morrow I will kill him, and cook him."Ah, how the poor little sister did lament when she had to fetch the water, and how her tears did flow down her cheeks! "Dear God, do help us," she cried. "If the wild beasts in the forest had but devoured us, we should at any rate have died together." "Just keep your noise to yourself," said the old woman, "it won't help you at all."

17－18

比较大的改动，是删掉了小妹妹对上帝祈祷的那句话，淡化宗教的作用。在这本书中，从头到尾都没有出现过宗教色彩，这点和文字版截然相反。

19－20－21

Early in the morning, Gretel had to go out and hang up the cauldron with the water, and light the fire. "We will bake first," said the old woman, "I have already heated the oven, and kneaded the dough." She pushed poor Gretel out to the oven, from which flames of fire were already darting. "Creep in," said the witch, "and see if it is properly heated, so that we can put the bread in." And once Gretel was inside, she intended to shut the oven and let her bake in it, and then she would eat her, too. But Gretel saw what she had in mind, and said: "I do not know how I am to do it; how do I get in?" "Silly goose," said the old woman. "The door is big enough; just look, I can get in myself!" and she crept up and thrust her head into the oven. Then Gretel gave her a push that drove her far into it, and shut the iron door, and fastened the bolt. Oh then she began to howl quite horribly, but Gretel ran away, and the godless witch was miserably burnt to death.

Gretel, however, ran like lightning to Hansel, opened his little stable, and cried: "Hansel, we are saved! The old witch is dead!" Then Hansel sprang like a bird from its cage when the door is opened. How they did rejoice and embrace each other, and dance about and kiss each other!

精简了文字，没有太大改动。

22－23－24